Wednesday, December 21, 2011

The 6 Worst Blog Posts I Have Written in 2011

If 2011 was anything to me, it was the year I started blogging.  The entire year actually as I started blogging in January over at Flies on Congress, a blog that was a joint effort between a friend and myself.  After a few months in the spring of being the lone writer, I decided it was not appropriate for me to keep writing there if it was only going to be myself.  That blog was our baby whom we tag teamed like a video on Pornhub.  It had trouble walking after we were done with it.  Going solo only made me feel like a fluffer.

So in June of 2011, I started this blog with the same goal in mind, to write jokes about our culture.  Between the two blogs, I have written about pop culture, superhero movies, karaoke, the public perceptions of Colorado, virtual reality boning, and Santa Fe, NM because I went there once.  I even wrote an entire trilogy on TLC, a television channel I've never actually watched because I'm afraid doing so would turn me into a tampon.  Hopefully, the jokes I wrote were good enough because that is the main point, to laugh at all this crap.  Otherwise I just come across as some ranting, nitpicking, jerk.

Then again, maybe I am some ranting, nitpicking, jerk.  Who am I to say our culture is based on nothing but reactionary, mindless, flavor of the month, shit?  Maybe, just maybe, I am in the wrong.  Maybe I should just accept society and move on.  Maybe I need to pay a penance for a year of mocking everything that everybody else likes.

Here is the 6 worst blog posts I have ever written.

Here is some art leftover from what would have easily been my worst article ever.

 1.  Virtual Reality Sex (It Would Suck)

Right off the bat, I go for sex appeal.  It might not be the greatest topic for sex appeal, but if Geometry gives you a boner, than this blog post will do more for you than any Target catalog.

This is the first blog post where I thought I was finding my voice and actually writing something halfway decent.  It turns out, the post is as funny as Jeff Dunham without the racism and it's central thesis of "Demolition Man ruined virtual reality" is like saying "Star Wars ruined laser swords."  The connection just isn't there.

I come off snarky in this post.  Just look at this sentence.
"In the 1980’s and 90’s, as technology pushed onward full steam ahead, a future full of awesome Holodecks seemed possible."
No they fucking didn't!  Nobody thought that.  I made that shit up.  The only place that thought Holodecks were possible was the Discovery Channel and that dude I played Magic the Gathering with once.   

There is a silver lining in this post though.  I think I know where the first reference to Robot Hooker Party came from.
"Luckily, we have Japan’s booming sex robot market to fill the void of virtual sex."
Never mind the fact that the quote should read, "void FOR virtual sex", but the clairvoyance in that sentence is so cryptic, I think it came from that night I dreamed about robot hookers while sleeping with a Virtual Boy strapped to my head.  Maybe that's where the name of this blog originated.  Or at the very least, it would explain the crippling headache I had when I awoke that day and why I couldn't see the color red for three weeks.

 Black and red are totally the colors I associate with Tennis

 2.  4 Misconceptions About Colorado

Hard to tell what this post has to do about culture except for the public conceptions of Colorado.  I don't really take on the media or Hollywood's misconceptions either, just people who are not from here or have ever been here. That is a really big population to call out in a blog post.  I doubt some dude in China thinks about Colorado that often or ever.  Besides, Chinese people are probably too busy defending their farms from swarms of dragons.  Then they play chicken with tanks every Saturday.

For a state I never think about and have never been too for longer than half an hour on my way to Vegas, I sure do rip Arizona a lot in this post.
"It’s pretty dry here but not as dry as Arizona who is going to get a sexual harassment lawsuit if it won’t stop humping my states leg. Actually, I think Arizona is on ecstasy. The dry humping. Asking us for water. Naming their cities after mythological birds. Yeah. I’m on to you Arizona."
Not sure how a state, not the people in the state mind you, the actual state, can take drugs but Arizona somehow became an extra in the movie What Dreams Will Come in that quote.  I must have confused Arizona for the person playing heroin addict #4.   I do think that was Arizona standing in the background of that double sided dildo scene though. 

My favorite part though has to be the section of the post where I challenge everybody at lower altitudes to a drinking competition.
"One thing is true about the altitude though. It lowers your alcohol tolerance. I can drink anybody from sea level under the table. Anybody. The altitude also gives me superpowers where if I travel to sea level I can still out drink you due to me having to drink 750 drinks just to get a buzz. You can’t win sea dweller."
I'm pretty sure if anybody actually does challenge me, I'd lose.  I just have a feeling.  I can't drink like I used to.  Although, if a challenge does happen, I only have one request.  The challenge must be exactly like that scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark complete with people gambling.  This way, I can bet on you to beat me!

 This round, we drink mojitos, then comes the Cosmo round.

3.  Why TLC is the Worst Channel on Television, Part 3

In the finale of my TLC trilogy, I talk about my least favorite subject of all, children.  In a strange twist of fate, fate being the ass leeches who run TLC, I am actually defending children in a "this is dangerously close to child porn" way.  Anybody who knows me knows that I don't share Playstation controllers with kids, I sneer back at kids who stare at me, and I'm not above telling a 6 year old that their mother is a whore.  But TLC?  Man, that channel makes me look like the patron saint of candy and toys.

Anyway, in this blog post I spend half of it talking about a show that nobody remembers.  TLC has done it's best to erase it from history like a Japanese school board concerning the years 1931 to 1945.  To be fair, the show Outrageous Kids Parties was like declaring war on sanity so maybe it's a good thing it's history is erased.

I still wonder what the parents in this show where thinking.
"It’s like these parents have decided to not be parents the rest of the year and spend all their time figuring out if they can sue Trojan for the broken condom."
That would explain where the parents got the money to throw these parties.  Trojan has deep, latex lined pockets.  Although, in that sentence, I make it sound like these parents resent their kids.  I don't think resentful parents throw those kinds of parties.  The parties resentful parents throw usually involve domestic abuse. 

As for the second show I talk about in this post?  Toddlers and Tiaras?  This quote pretty much sums it up.
"Don’t let down your mom kid! She has demons! Personal demons like the time Bobby dumped her for the girl who would put out! Mommy will show that slut who is prettier by parading around her pretty little girl."
I would make an apology for basically saying that the mothers in this show are trying to turn their daughters into sluts, they are doing that.  Exactly that.  Disturbingly that.

 Fans of the show no doubt.

4.  Bad Tippers With Worse Excuses

Never mind the fact that I haven't had a tip dependent job since I was 16 years old, this blog post feels out of place from my usual stuff.  That's because debates about tipping are easily some of the strangest that exist on the Internet.  It's not so much that the debates themselves are strange, it's that the debate exists in the first place.  Yet here I am, adding to this stupid debate with this blog post.

I have taken a side instead of mocking the debate itself, which really is just a bunch of cheap assholes trying to explain why their cheap asshole behavior is justified to people who depend on tips from cheap assholes.  Did they not think servers and bartenders are going to complain when they get shafted on a tip?  What did they expect?  The hot bartender to get their phone number so they can give the bartender a tip with their small dick?  Did they expect a free meal because food doesn't magically cook in 26 seconds?  Did they think their server will tell them that the mere presence of their company was so great, that they should just keep their money so they can buy more trucker hats?  If you are a cheap asshole, then people are going to call you a cheap asshole.  It can't get more straight forward.

That said, the bad tipping crowd tend to defend themselves anyway with the bad economy argument.  It's the most common argument so I thought tackling it first would help end this debate once and for all.
"You can’t afford the $5 tip but the $25 bill was just fine? If money is an issue, like this claim suggests, then the bigger amount should be more troubling. If you can’t afford the tip, why go to a place were tipping is standard? There are cheaper options available. That’s like buying a bottle of Grey Goose vodka and then complaining about the liquor tax."
Despite my flawless logic and razor sharp wit, that analogy isn't exactly right.  Liquor taxes go to the government to bribe all those people who know the truth about 9/11.  A tip goes to people serving you food, or as a bad tipper would say, it goes to some jackass who thought tomato goes on a BLT.

 Never again.

The worst excuse is probably the "I never get good service" excuse.  Right.  It couldn't possibly be your own fault.  Every restaurant you've ever been too is just terrible and has a vendetta against you.  I'm sure it's also your wife's fault she has those bruises that the cops keep questioning you about too.

This is what I wrote about these fine individuals.
"This customers standards are impossibly high on purpose so they don’t have to tip well, or at all. Any person who uses this argument is so full of shit I swear they just got untied from the back of a human centipede."
Oh yeah.  A Human Centipede reference.  This is either my worst joke because nobody got it or my best because it's kind of obscure.  It doesn't matter much though because if any bad tippers read this article, they probably didn't get it either since they thought choking down someone's shit was the best dining experience they ever had. 

5.  3OH!3 Sucks

If I ever wrote a blog post that won't hold up well after a year, it's this one.  The last time I heard a 3Oh!3 song was when I wrote this.  This band disappeared faster than my boner while watching the movie Sucker Punch.  Granted, they will probably re-emerge in two years with another terrible song about getting girls to sleep with them by claiming to be good friends with Justin Bieber, but I doubt they will ever be as popular as they were.  They can't have Ke$ha guest star on all their songs. 

Speaking of which, why the hell did Ke$ha even guest star on a song anyway?
"And as if one song about hating women wasn't enough, the band had to double down by releasing a song even worse called "My First Kiss", which featured Ke$ha for three lines and who has single-handedly set women's rights back to the Middle Ages."
She was barely in the song!  She walked into the studio, sang three lines, collected her paycheck, then went to go bang Mike Jaggor who works for Rolling Stone magazine.

"It's like, totally cool that a band has it's own magazine." 

It's probably a good thing I don't really blame Ke$ha for this song despite thinking that she is an absolutely wretched human being who would probably be turned down from a stripper job for smelling like a yak.  To be fair, she was probably not the one who came up with the most asinine song lyric since the Black Eyed Peas song My Humps had the profound lyrics of, "My lovely lady lumps, in the back and in the front."

Oh, is that where those are?  Sorry, I thought you were a hunchback. I guess Fergie and 3Oh!3 both feel the need to explain their metaphors.
"Then there is the, "Your kiss is like whiskey, it gets me drunk" line. Yeah, thanks for explaining that one to us. Either the band thought the audience didn't know the effects of whiskey, or the girl they are talking about is some sort of succubus who has whiskey for saliva."
They could have left out the " gets me drunk" part and I think the audience probably would have still grasped the concept of an intoxicating kiss.  Then again, here I am complaining about a band whose primary audience is probably 10 years old.  That's like complaining about a juice box.

6.  Bring Back Ecto Cooler!

This is probably the most selfish of my blog posts since I write about a discontinued drink from my childhood in which I'm curious if it could be a decent cocktail mixer.  Another drink from my childhood, Sunny D, is disgusting and the only way I would mix that with alcohol is if the drink was 99% booze.  Sunny D tastes like sour oranges and paper.  In that sense, Ecto Cooler has a much better chance of fulfilling this need to mix booze with childhood memories in order to erase said childhood memories.

The cultural impact of Ecto Cooler is tiny at best but the Ghostbusters are awesome.  It's cult following is huge.  Well, mostly the movies anyway because the TV show wasn't very good.
"There is however one aspect of The Real Ghostbusters that I remember quite well and that's the promotional drink Ecto Cooler.  It was the perfect child fuel since it's ingredient list was basically, "sugar, water, and Uranium 238."  This concoction of soft drink bliss was a dietary staple from 1987-1997 and the drink itself, sans Slimer on the box, lasted until 2001. While I had outgrown the drink by then, a small part of me died when it was discontinued and I lowered my flag to half mast.  The flag of my childhood.  Godspeed future Robocop, godspeed."
It is unfortunate to let everybody know the bad news but I have not grown up to be Robocop.   Also, I made a pretty big error here.  Ecto Cooler has Uranium 239, not 238.  Sorry for the mistake.

  The Ecto Cooler secret ingredient is closely guarded.

I think I'm just angry that an awesome promotional drink could have lasted this long, only to get discontinued like coffee flavored cola, or as I call it, death incarnate.  I guess it was inevitable but it still hurts.  There just isn't any better promotion from the 90's, except for maybe from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
"The only way this drink could have been more successful is if it was a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles tie in and the drink was named Cowabunga Ninja Rap Ooze.  Minute Maid, not Apple, would be the richest corporation in the world thanks to CNRO.  It even makes for a nice acronym even though it's the same acronym as the Community Nursing Registry of Ottawa."
Like that made up drink would still be around either.  TMNT has been re-booted so many times, I think the turtles only eat gluten-free pizza now.  I would probably be complaining about that drink being discontinued too while getting an ulcer checked by a nurse from Ottawa.  Yes, that nursing registry is a real thing.  Did you think I made it up?


So there you have it.  The six worst blog posts I have written in 2011.  I will be truly shocked if anybody read this far.  This is by far the longest thing I have written despite 1/3 of it being quoted material.  But since you have read this far, I will let you in on a little secret.  I lied about these being the worst.  I think these are actually my best.  It's like I just came up with this concept just to have a vessel to do a "best of 2011" list without it looking like me jerking off.  It's like, totally meta.  Whoa!  Internet jokes!

Disclaimer:  I apologize for nothing!

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Sunday, December 11, 2011

A Review of 4 Bad Christmas Products.

Back when blogging was still hip and I was just a little rascal running around the Internet throwing words at websites like an adorable scamp, I wrote a review of six bad Valentines Day gifts.  I thought it was such a good idea at the time that I decided to do the same thing for other holidays.  Then I proceeded to forget all about that idea and watch porn.  Now I plan to change that.  And what a better time to bring the review theme back than for the largest, most commercialized holiday ever?  Kwanzaa!

Well, it turns out, people have gotten feed up with the commercialization of Kwanzaa.  There just isn't enough Kwanzaa related products to review anymore.  However, that is probably a good thing because nobody knows a damn thing about this holiday.  I don't know anything about it either.  I thought a Kwanzaa was some sort of horn.  They play Kwanzaas in marching bands right?

Anyway, I hear there is this new holiday called Christmas that has many options of gifts to review.  Unfortunately, everything is a potential Christmas gift and that seems like a daunting task.    I don't like the prospects of doing a review on ALL the gifts.  Literally all of them.  So here is a review of 4 bad Christmas themed products (decorations and novelties mainly) instead.

Born to Shop Ornament

With this ornament, you can show all your loved ones that your purpose in life is to be a consumerist shill.  People can look at your Christmas tree and know that when you go shopping, you shop with vigor.  The vigor of a shopping spree hopefully in montage form with Bonnie Tylers "I Need a Hero" providing the soundtrack.  Cashiers at the businesses you shop at will cower in fear when you flaunt your mighty purchasing power but it's okay.  You were born for this very reason.  It is, your destiny.

Actually, anybody who buys this is a walking stereotype.  It's like an ornament maker from the 1950's designed this.  I can only imagine what went through the designers head.  "What do women like?  Cooking, sewing, being capitalists...oh, that's right!  They like to buy shoes and war bonds!  Shopping, dames love shopping.  It's almost as if they were, born damn!  I'm on to something here.  This is going to be a hit!  Now only if my seventh wife didn't leave me yesterday, I could have given this to her for Christmas. 

Santa Dollar Bill

George Washington is rolling over in his grave.  He just got kicked off the one dollar bill for a person who probably never existed and is best known for being the fattest person to ever fit in a chimney.  Granted, Santa probably does have a better win/loss record in war considering he has to go to the Sudan once a year. 

I'm not sure what this is.  Even the company that is selling it doesn't know what it is since they took it down.*  If they made a full line of bills, was Rudolph on the 5, John McClane on the 10, and a red rider BB gun on the 20?  Of course Jesus would have to be on the 100 dollar bill but that's only because there's like 100 psalms, which is divisible by ten, in which there are ten commandments and that number appears in the book of revelations somewhere and HOLY SHIT, THE WORLD IS GOING TO END IN TEN DAYS! 

*  What the shit, website?  "The requested product does not exists"?  Exists?  I am nobody to judge since this blog has the occasional typo, ahem, but there is only one fucking sentence on that page.  Are you trying to tell me that this product does not exist in ANY reality or time?  This is a little too much for my mind to handle.  Where did I get that picture from then website?  The anti-reality?  Neither myself or anybody else knows what that is!  Please contact some scientists.  This could be important. 

Poinsettia shirt

Hahahahahaha!   Did a hillbilly steal a table cloth from a nursing home and make a shirt out of it?  Or maybe they made the shirt out of the carpet at the Tropicana casino in Las Vegas?  See, this is what happens when you let fashion designers drink moonshine.  Somebodies eyes will catch fire and burn right out of their skull if they look at that atrocity for too long.     

I don't know what Poinsettias have to do with Christmas and I don't care enough to look it up but that might be the worst shirt I've ever seen.  I feel bad for the model in the picture.  That shirt makes her look 85 years old.  And she is looking off to the side as if she is about to say, "I have a really strong opinion about bunt cake." 

Santa Toilet Seat Cover

You're going to be alone for Christmas aren't you?

Just like with the first product review article, it only makes sense that I end this with another glorified shit joke.

Joe Fuckface stumbles home after finding the end of a bottle of McCormicks Whiskey, Dec 25th. 2011.  Approximately 1:52am.  Or maybe 1:53am because that clock that Sarah gave him is a lying whorish cunt too.  He hopes that clock gets herpes.

"What nowwww werld?"  Cried the drunken Joe.  "What are you gonna do to I now?  Just piss me off sumabitch......"

Joe passed out for the night.  He dreamt of better days with Sarah.  Days before her vagina found the better end of a dick named Sven.  He dreamt of dates at the local watering hole picking fights with black people.  He dreamt of stabbing his boss with an icepick at the Pussycat Lounge, the nightclub he bounced for.  He dreamt about Candy, a dancer at the club.  Boy did he ever dream about her, with her platinum blond hair and cigar burns on her left tit.  

He was in a deep sleep.  A sleep that a doctor would have confused for a dead man.  That and because he died of alcohol posioning for 30 seconds in his sleep but that's neither here nor there.  It was a sleep so good, that he was not too pleased to find out what he did when he awoke. 

"Ahh-fu-ah-shit.  I done pissed me self agayin."  slurred Joe.

He starred down at the yellow piss stain on his floor, where he had passed out, and decided it looked like Sarah after she just got done being a fucking whorish cunt bag who cuntly did things a giant cunt would do.  He concluded that Sarah might be, NAY, she WAS the biggest cunt to ever walk this cuntish fucking earth and that Sven was the vice-cunt president.

"Fuckin Sarah.  Suppose'da have Christmas together."  Said Joe, while his stomach began to ache.  "I doubt Steve can lick a pussy like I can.  Steve?  His name were Stan.  Stan the man.  Stan the WOman, heh heh heh."

Joe's stomach growled deeply but not because of hunger or from some guy named Stan.  No, this growl was from his nether regions.  A place so foul, Sven's nether regions must have looked like Valhalla to Sarah.

"Ah fuck mah sista!  I gotta shit."  Yelled Joe.

Joe stumbled and tripped his way to the bathroom and that is when he saw it, just sitting there mocking Joe's very existence.  It was the Santa toilet seat cover.  The one him and Sarah bought from Pier One about a year ago.  It was there because Joe had forgotten or maybe because Joe was a dip shit.  The toilet knew too much about Joe.  It KNEW things about Joe.  Terrible things.  It knew of the love he had for Sarah and how she betrayed him with Sven's eight inch penis that probably doesn't exist but if it does, holy shit.  Fuck that guy.

"Are you gonna laff at me too now Santa?"  Asked a dejected Joe.

"Hahaha.  Yes, of course you fucking asshole."  Said the Santa toilet seat cover in Joe's mind.

"Well then fuck you too Santa.  I got yer cookies right here!"  Said Joe as he pulled down his pants, sat down, and let rip the nastiest, mud buttiest shit he ever had.

Joe, feeling like he won the battle with the toilet, and by proxy Sarah, decided that he needed a little icing on the cake.  A little something else to let all the other cunts in the world know that nobody will ever be as big of a cunt as Sarah, the fucking cuntist cunt of cuntington. 

"Don't worry.  The milk to warsh down those cookies is commin in a minute."  Said Joe as he turned to the toilet, pants still down around the ankles, holding a Barely Legal magazine and flipping to the centerfold.

"Actually."  Said Joe, "It might be a few minutes.  I got a bit of the whiskey dick."

Disclaimer:  This article is satirical and all of these products are real.  Well, except for maybe the Santa one dollar bill.  That thing only exists in the Realm of Sorrow now.  

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Monday, December 5, 2011

About the Seth MacFarlane Flintstones Reboot

In what can only be deemed Reboota-Palooza here at Robot Hooker Party, it's only natural to bring up one of the dumbest reboots of modern times since NBC decided in 2008 that America needed more talking cars.  Of course that was the reboot of Knight Rider, a show that was so awesome during its first run, I almost forgot to buy those box sets I never wanted.  Remind me again of how a sentient car is supposed to help solve crimes when it can't enter a building without driving through a wall. 

This time Fox decided to give Seth MacFarlane whatever the hell he wants by rebooting The Flintstones.  Wow Fox, show a little restraint.  Don't be too obvious with the blow jobs you give this man nightly.  Somebody might notice.  Apparently, if Seth MacFarlane wanted to do an animated comedy about the holocaust, Fox would ask him how many Nazi's they should hire to work as animators.

I should point out that this, without a doubt, is happening.  Production has started and it's slated for release in 2013.  I know rebooting classic shows is not a new thing and a Flintstones reboot is long overdue anyway, so maybe this won't be a bad thing. Just like the Charlie's Angels reboot is not a bad thi-hahaha, sorry, I can't do it.  Who am I kidding?  This will suck the shit stain off my jockeys.

 Other reboots don't get creepy public art though.  Fred's eyes!  Don't look at the eyes!

The Flintstones, for all of you who have sheltered themselves from society, is a show about a family who lives with dinosaurs and his friend is an alcoholic or something.  Okay, so the show aired in the 1960's, most of the jokes were puns about living in the stone age, and I never really watched it.  It was groundbreaking though in that it was the first cartoon in which adults could enjoy without thinking about shipping their kids off to a Thailand oil rig.  It had a lot of adult orientated humor which was rare for cartoons at the time, except for when Bugs Bunny would impersonate Hitler in drag.  I don't think children would understand a message of, "Hitler is a woman".  The Flintstones is a classic and the most successful cartoon until The Simpsons crushed it by never knowing when to quit.

So I guess it makes sense to reboot it but, wait a minute, the show has been off the air for 45 years!  Who is asking for this?  Is there really a big demand for it?  Surely, the flood of e-mails and phone calls to Fox studios must have been so overwhelming they turned to Seth MacFarlane, a guy who is obsessed with The Flintstones, to save them from this nightmare.  They must consider themselves lucky to have a guy working with them who used to draw Fred Flintstone for fun.  What a coincidence!

The protesters are just, just everywhere.  How are you supposed to get inside?

MacFarlane is probably the only person who wants this.  If Fox actually cared what viewers want, they would have brought back Arrested Development* years ago.  There are more people requesting the return of Man Vs. Beast than a show that aired during John F. Kennedy's presidency.  There are more people who STARED in Who Wants to be a Superhero? than people who want to see The Flintstones bring stone age comedy into an era when a significant percentage of the population thinks the original show was a goddamn documentary.

*I know about the Hulu revival.  To that I say, I'll believe it when I see it.  We have been cockblocked by Arrested Development revival/movie news so much, I wouldn't be surprised if Fox is actually not my best friend and is sleeping with my girlfriend.  If Fox actually gets all the Bluths together and starts filming, I'll be cautiously optimistic and tell my girlfriend to get tested for STD's.

Since Fox apparently only cares about money and they know Seth MacFarlane brings in more money than the East India Trading Company, the question becomes, will the show be any good?

 "Cheers.  I made 8 million dollars just by sitting at this panel."

I don't have a lot to go off of but Seth MacFarlane had a hour and half long show that aired on Sundays called, The American Family:  Guys, Dads and Cleveland.  It was a show about a guy named Peter Griffin who harbors an alien that worked for the CIA until his dog Brian found out.  Peter also has a pet goldfish who wants to kill the mother of the family in order to rule the fishbowl and he has a baby boy named Stewie who is German.  Also, they are sometimes black.

Basically, what I'm saying is, The Flintstones will probably end up exactly like Family Guy, American Dad, and The Cleveland Show.  I wouldn't be surprised if Fred Flinstones pet dinosaur, Dino, got a speaking role.  He would probably enter a room by asking, "You down with OPD (Original Purple Dinosaur)?", to which Fred will reply, "Yeah you know me!"  Then Fred will say, "Purple dinosaurs remind me of that little kid show I used to watch," and then the scene will cut away to Barney the Dinosaur being a pedophile.  The joke won't make sense because Dino is not a pedophile but the joke will make the comparison anyway.  It will also bring up questions on why the family allows Dino to be around two small children.

"After the show, we can all meet up in my van for some candy."

I feel safe in saying the reboot will be just as good as Seth MacFarlanes other shows.  This one might even be a little different since the reboot can steal ideas from the original instead of doing what he normally does, which is just steal from The SimpsonsEither way, this show will get at least a few seasons since many of MacFarlanes fans would watch 30 minutes of a dog licking his balls if MacFarlanes name was attached to it.  The only show I watch of his is Family Guy and that's only if Futurama isn't on, so I'm not holding my breath in anticipation of his next cloned show.

Disclaimer:  This article is satirical and I actually find Seth MacFarlane to be pretty funny.  Plus, this article is kind of pointless since he already rebooted "The Flintstones" three times already.

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