Monday, December 5, 2011

About the Seth MacFarlane Flintstones Reboot

In what can only be deemed Reboota-Palooza here at Robot Hooker Party, it's only natural to bring up one of the dumbest reboots of modern times since NBC decided in 2008 that America needed more talking cars.  Of course that was the reboot of Knight Rider, a show that was so awesome during its first run, I almost forgot to buy those box sets I never wanted.  Remind me again of how a sentient car is supposed to help solve crimes when it can't enter a building without driving through a wall. 

This time Fox decided to give Seth MacFarlane whatever the hell he wants by rebooting The Flintstones.  Wow Fox, show a little restraint.  Don't be too obvious with the blow jobs you give this man nightly.  Somebody might notice.  Apparently, if Seth MacFarlane wanted to do an animated comedy about the holocaust, Fox would ask him how many Nazi's they should hire to work as animators.

I should point out that this, without a doubt, is happening.  Production has started and it's slated for release in 2013.  I know rebooting classic shows is not a new thing and a Flintstones reboot is long overdue anyway, so maybe this won't be a bad thing. Just like the Charlie's Angels reboot is not a bad thi-hahaha, sorry, I can't do it.  Who am I kidding?  This will suck the shit stain off my jockeys.

 Other reboots don't get creepy public art though.  Fred's eyes!  Don't look at the eyes!

The Flintstones, for all of you who have sheltered themselves from society, is a show about a family who lives with dinosaurs and his friend is an alcoholic or something.  Okay, so the show aired in the 1960's, most of the jokes were puns about living in the stone age, and I never really watched it.  It was groundbreaking though in that it was the first cartoon in which adults could enjoy without thinking about shipping their kids off to a Thailand oil rig.  It had a lot of adult orientated humor which was rare for cartoons at the time, except for when Bugs Bunny would impersonate Hitler in drag.  I don't think children would understand a message of, "Hitler is a woman".  The Flintstones is a classic and the most successful cartoon until The Simpsons crushed it by never knowing when to quit.

So I guess it makes sense to reboot it but, wait a minute, the show has been off the air for 45 years!  Who is asking for this?  Is there really a big demand for it?  Surely, the flood of e-mails and phone calls to Fox studios must have been so overwhelming they turned to Seth MacFarlane, a guy who is obsessed with The Flintstones, to save them from this nightmare.  They must consider themselves lucky to have a guy working with them who used to draw Fred Flintstone for fun.  What a coincidence!

The protesters are just, just everywhere.  How are you supposed to get inside?

MacFarlane is probably the only person who wants this.  If Fox actually cared what viewers want, they would have brought back Arrested Development* years ago.  There are more people requesting the return of Man Vs. Beast than a show that aired during John F. Kennedy's presidency.  There are more people who STARED in Who Wants to be a Superhero? than people who want to see The Flintstones bring stone age comedy into an era when a significant percentage of the population thinks the original show was a goddamn documentary.

*I know about the Hulu revival.  To that I say, I'll believe it when I see it.  We have been cockblocked by Arrested Development revival/movie news so much, I wouldn't be surprised if Fox is actually not my best friend and is sleeping with my girlfriend.  If Fox actually gets all the Bluths together and starts filming, I'll be cautiously optimistic and tell my girlfriend to get tested for STD's.

Since Fox apparently only cares about money and they know Seth MacFarlane brings in more money than the East India Trading Company, the question becomes, will the show be any good?

 "Cheers.  I made 8 million dollars just by sitting at this panel."

I don't have a lot to go off of but Seth MacFarlane had a hour and half long show that aired on Sundays called, The American Family:  Guys, Dads and Cleveland.  It was a show about a guy named Peter Griffin who harbors an alien that worked for the CIA until his dog Brian found out.  Peter also has a pet goldfish who wants to kill the mother of the family in order to rule the fishbowl and he has a baby boy named Stewie who is German.  Also, they are sometimes black.

Basically, what I'm saying is, The Flintstones will probably end up exactly like Family Guy, American Dad, and The Cleveland Show.  I wouldn't be surprised if Fred Flinstones pet dinosaur, Dino, got a speaking role.  He would probably enter a room by asking, "You down with OPD (Original Purple Dinosaur)?", to which Fred will reply, "Yeah you know me!"  Then Fred will say, "Purple dinosaurs remind me of that little kid show I used to watch," and then the scene will cut away to Barney the Dinosaur being a pedophile.  The joke won't make sense because Dino is not a pedophile but the joke will make the comparison anyway.  It will also bring up questions on why the family allows Dino to be around two small children.

"After the show, we can all meet up in my van for some candy."

I feel safe in saying the reboot will be just as good as Seth MacFarlanes other shows.  This one might even be a little different since the reboot can steal ideas from the original instead of doing what he normally does, which is just steal from The SimpsonsEither way, this show will get at least a few seasons since many of MacFarlanes fans would watch 30 minutes of a dog licking his balls if MacFarlanes name was attached to it.  The only show I watch of his is Family Guy and that's only if Futurama isn't on, so I'm not holding my breath in anticipation of his next cloned show.

Disclaimer:  This article is satirical and I actually find Seth MacFarlane to be pretty funny.  Plus, this article is kind of pointless since he already rebooted "The Flintstones" three times already.

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